Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
