just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
