If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
