I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
