There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
only if we run a train.
done.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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