yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
