just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
