I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
