Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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