Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
