I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
