this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
