So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
