K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
