She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
