she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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