If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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