I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i came on her dog
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
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