Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
