May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
