Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
