i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We left the knife in your bed.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize