UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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