Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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