I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She bit a glass in half.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm like, not good at living.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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