This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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