You're so nebulous sometimes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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