Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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