Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize