Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
