You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
