I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
