did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
