let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
