Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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