maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
