the condom got lost in my hair
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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