i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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