If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize