Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
