Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
