So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize