we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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