he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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