is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
