Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
