Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
