Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize