HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize