did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
