if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
