I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
